help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
