if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
