The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
FUCK WHALES
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
