i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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