Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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