I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize