No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize