Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
