I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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