sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
