I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
