whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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