I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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