CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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