Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
