Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
