How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
