I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
