new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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