that's an acceptable place to lick
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My ATM looks so different sober.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
