he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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