chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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