i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
