What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my being single is dangerous.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
