I hope mine doesn't look like that
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
