Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
