I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
