She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
