Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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