the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
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they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize