I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
