By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
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I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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