Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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