His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
