I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
