Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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