is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
