you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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