i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
