I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
