it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
