Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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