I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
did i walk over a car last night?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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