ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
