We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
