hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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