I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
