honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
