tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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