Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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