I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
