Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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