WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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