do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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