on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
this just has baby written all over it
it's like iHOP with fire
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
