But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
