you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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