I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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