i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
