everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
