I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
