You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
