i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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