i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
