who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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