? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Apparently you make a good broom.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
