question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
